i don't just see you.
i see the whole you,
and at the same time,
people and others
again, he messed up. his words were different and his actions were not him, but still, i hold on to his promises. i will never forget his few promises, and the times when he tells me how we were meant to be, great things and thoughts that only he has told me. few promises, i say, because he is a man who value promises and commitments so much. i trust him, and the whole of him, and i trust his words especially that of how much he loves me, immeasurable.
but he messed up, again.
ihave messed up once again, disappointed and hurt her, i know and i regret i did. i don’t have an excuse for anything, i’ve wronged her, though, i never wanted to.
i hope she does not regret, and i am still not ordinary for her.
it is not about promises and commitments, nor pride and necessity. yes, i value these principles so much, but I know there are more than these.
i don’t deserve her. i don’t deserve her at all.
men are so insensitive.
yes, but i am trying not to be.
i want to be the man for you, not a man, but the man.
yes, i messed up, but i did try not to. i am still me and i have not changed a bit. i am still that same person whom you’ve chosen to be with, whom you’ve met and whom you’ve love. i have not yet forgotten the words i’ve let out before. those are true, i know. i love you immeasurably, and i have been better.
for those times that i have wronged you, i sincerely apologize. for those times that i am not the person whom you want me to be in your life, i sincerely apologize, but believe me, i want to be that man. not all men are the same; i want to prove you that i could be that exception. for you.
when you are on a steep downhill and your brakes are crying, your weight pushed downward and your balance are not in your control anymore, you have no choice but to hang on, cry further and hold stronger, and hope that the uphill and smooth asphalt will come soon… again.