5.23.2006

as i picture myself years from now

i picture myself ten years from now, and i see myself with this same wonderful scenario. i'm still with this beautiful setting--with my family and this gorgeous yet simple you. although i know that it's still a little too early to tell what the future might bring, i'd like to prefer it that way--thinking, dreaming, hoping that you'd still be there tomorrow as i open my eyes and wake. you'd be there for me, and i to you like we've always been every single moment. whether it may be good or bad, i want it the way it is today. (i know we can, i believe.) i've known you quite enough, i've love you.. but i don't know how much.

i picture myself years from now, and all i feel is contentment and fear--fearing this dream i picture won't come to me. i fear hurting you and living the rest of this life without you. alone. well, honestly, i've always wanted to be with you every single moment. but unfortunately, as much as i want to, i can't, we can't, and i'm really sorry.

someday, i'll be there for you always. whenever you'll need me, i promise i'll be there. i can't promise to love you forever, i mean, practically speaking, it's really to early for me telling this, but beb, i love you. i love you and i'll be there for you. i'll be there until i lose my teeth and see your hair turn black to gray--from sweet to beauty, from simplicity to elegance, girl to a woman. i will always be there until everything in my sight turns dark and plain. i'd try loving you until eternity, or maybe until i just couldn't feel any.

there are feelings inexpressible in words. all i know is that--i love you, i care for you, i treasure you--your dreams and my dreams--us, i cherish you, yours and our memories. i miss you.