1.18.2006

the chapter of "love" to be closed

someday, i might close the chapter of my book where "love" can be found. if someday that would come, it would hurt badly. but, id try not to cry because i know that my dream was to be with you and it did come true. i should be smiling and not crying, right? and yes, it would hurt a lot, and maybe at the end of my life, the word "love" might not appear once again. eventually, the hurt would go and my love too. (maybe, but not my memories) your memories would still stay with me, haunt me, remind me, and let me feel constantly on how happy i was when we were still together --i hope you were happy too.

i know that there is no forever, esp. at this point in my book when its still too early --too young and too far --i guess. well, this is life, i know, but that doesnt mean im letting you go or just letting things happen. i hope and pray earnestly that He would let me love you and be with you tomorrow until forever --or maybe just long enough, until the time comes that i can live my own life without you --if ever its not meant for us to stay forever. whatever happen next, i know that i would not be regretting this event of my life.

i know its too big to ask but id rather be selfish than to lose someone this special to me. losing you would close a big part of my life that might cause my breath to stop and my heart to die. however, id still try my best to keep you and love you at my fullest. its the least i can do.