7.26.2005

pangarap kong kolehiyo

nagising ako isang umaga
buwan ay hunyo numero'y otso
'di makapaniwalang ito'y totoo

mula sa aking baro
hanggang sa mga gamit kolehiyo
lahat nakahanda't nakasampay na
halatang hinanda kagabi pa

ako'y nananabik
masayang may halong kaba
isang pangarap
matagal ko nang inasam-asam
at ngayon nagkatotoo na!

'pag pasok ko ng klase
propesorang matalim ang mga titig
tila tigreng uhaw sa dugo
striktong panaksak ang bibig
tila mahabang itak
na bawat saksak ay tagas ng dugo

nagulantang ang mundo ko
pati na rin aking pagkatao
nang kanyang sambiting
mga taga-maynila raw
pawang palikero't barbero

mga binitiwang salitang
hindi na nabura sa aking isipan

buti pala't ako'y galing baguio
hindi isang barbero

natapos ang isang araw
unang araw ng kabarberuhan
tila nasa perya't
nang ako'y ginulat ng kultura
ibang iba sa nakaugalian

nagpatuloy kalbaryo ng buhay
unos at bagyo
may nyebe't tag-araw din

natapos sa yugtong
kabarberuha'y ganap na
daang porsyentong
isang taga-bayan na

tama na nga'ng pananaginip!
kailanma'y 'di ito mangyayari
mamaya't may klase pa
sa mababang paaralan
sa bayan na tawag ay baguio.
.
.
-naghihintay ang unibersidad
-pananabik sa kolehiyo

7.25.2005

sun

you sun i adore
why i need you so much more
not just pale color
.
.
-haiku

reminiscing

she was once mine
quiet and silent
simple in beauty
with those smiles
and sinful lips

we shared the laughters
and some heavy tears
i'd rather not talk about
we made dozen of memorieas
and one, i'd rather forget

but when reminiscing..
can't prevent tears from rolling
can't stop smiling
while holding the memories
in my mind and in my hands

though communication stopped
still wishing one day
you and me would cross
each other's paths
and regain what we've lost

there's so much to tell
much more to let you feel
the care and love
i forgot to tell and show
when we were still one

it's been a long time
for me a decade or so
but why does it feel so fresh
the memories and pain
still in my flesh

the ouch and the whoos
that has long gone
came back with lighter tears
but stronger feelings
just killed the man
once again..

dreams and nightmares
flashes of memories
uncontrollable
undescribable
unerasable picture i own.

7.10.2005

crush

buhay estudyante'y matatapos na
nang ika'y mapuna
nagtataka, paano ka mahahalina
tuwing nakikita
tila paligid nawawala
kapag ako sayo'y natutulala
ganda'y sadyang nakaaakit
mata ko sayo'y nakadikit
kailan man, hindi mawaglit
ngiti'y nagkakasalubong
pakiramdam na sa puso'y ibinubulong
sa dibdib pilit ikinukulong
nais makatabi, nais makapiling
nais maari at malambing
babaeng kahit sino'y walang kahambing
ika'y aking hinahangaan
dito sa paaralan
nakilala, hindi malilimutan
magpakailanman..

7.07.2005

common man

i sat
at a bench
in the park
near the building
where i work
eating popcorn
and drinking soda.
..my favorite breakfast
when my wife is out.

it's two minutes before eight
and i'll be late
once again.
the sun is up
and the streets are busy
once again.
whoo..
my mind is stressed
my body is bruised
if i were just a student
o my God!!

my projects are piled
papers are due
appointments are moved
once again..
o my God!!
surely..
boss will kill me


slowly,
i swallowed
my last piece of popcorn
and my soda is up
it's eight plus ten
and i'm really dead..

i grabbed my case
stood and walked
suddenly,
i'm at my office
mr. angry boss was waiting
furiously scolding me
o well, that's a ceremony for me
if there was no scolding
my day wouldn't be complete.

a few rings and talks
at the phone
a few words and numbers
at my record book
tick..
the clock reached five
i'm gone..

if i'll go home
no one's there
no one's waiting
if i'll go
somewhere else,
where could that be..
.
.
-existing and not living
-surviving and appreciating
-pointless

7.03.2005

cursed triangle

The Bermuda Triangle (a.k.a. the Devil's Triangle) is a triangular area in the Atlantic Ocean bounded roughly at its points by Miami, Bermuda, and Puerto Rico. Legend has it that many people, ships and planes have mysteriously vanished in this area.
not the shape
not the angle
not the beauty of the place
triangular place
death without a trace
sitting next to me, the co-pilot Mack
first class passengers at my back
thick glasses at my eye-leveled sight
fog..
fog..
first
everything seemed perfect
but my left engine stopped
plane started to slow down..
started to soar towards the blue calm sea
second
i can hear them screaming
craving to wake them
in a terrible nightmare
then a splash came
i heard my death coming
the pounding increasing
so i inhaled my last breath
third
my hopes are down
my body can't be found anywhere
fogged and drained
freezed and stiffed
this was all my fault
i should have known Bermuda
the triangle that killed my friends.
.
.
-after a lesson about bermuda triangle

my last letter for my princess

a war is coming and slaves are asked to help the knights and guards to protect the kingdom. the king is asking the queen together with the princess' to leave the kingdom for survival. there's no other choice and way unless the war is stopped.

i may be a servant, a merchant, a slave but what i have for you, my princess is true.

my princess, this might be the last letter i'll have for you, but i promise that if i'll be gone, my love, my true priceless love would remain. whenever my cold body may be found, my heart would still be yours.

i wish i could be a humble prince, a brave knight or a respected aristocrat. so it could be easier to have your hand, my princess. but i'm not. i'm just someone that loves you dearly, cherishes every smile you share and appreciates your sweet soft voice. i wish that this world would be fair. fair enough to let a servant, not just serve but love a red-blooded princess like you fully, without rules, laws and strings.

your highness, may i ask you to wait. i'll be back and when that time comes. i promise to be better, worthy for you. i'll be someone that you could be proud of..if i survive. remember, my princess, your my reason of existence.

7.02.2005

sa loob ng puso ko'y ikaw pa rin

akala ko'y wala ka na, naglaho na nang tuluyan sa isipan ngunit ika'y nanatili at kasalukuyang nanggugulong muli.

ika-labintatlong buwan na ngayon nang tayo'y huling nagkita. marahil ay marami na ngang nagbago sa ating dalawa ngunit hindi ang nararamdaman ko para sayo. ito'y nanatili at nananatili hanggang sa kasalukuyan. akala ko'y naglaho ka na, akala ko'y nabura ka na sa aking puso't isipan ngunit sa isang iglap, ika'y nagbalik. sa isang banggit ng iyong 'ngalan, nagising ang alaala mong matagal nang natahimik. natanto kong ika'y 'di nagpaalam.

sa puntong ito'y para bang gusto kong bumalik sa nakaraan. sa mga panahong tayo'y magkasama pa't masaya..nasisilayan ka, nakakausap, nadarama. ibang iba kung ikukumpara sa kasalukuyang sitwasyon. anino mo'y aking hinahanap-hanap, ngiti mo'y pinaiikot sa gunamgunam at kamay mo'y inaalala sa pamamagitan ng unan kong yati sa bulak. tunay ngang nakakaramdam ng pangungulila at pananabik..sa ating muling pagkikita--walang katiyakang kailan darating ang tagpong ito.

minsa'y ako'y nagtataka, kamusta ka na kaya? ikaw ba'y masaya o tulad ko ring nagtataka? ikaw ba'y katulad kong nananabik o sadyang walang pakialam sa akin at sa atin? ako ba'y iniisip kahit saglit o nilimot nang tuluyan? kung anu man, ako'y nasasaktan at nag-aalala pa rin.. sayo, sa iyong mga ginagawa at sa iyong kalagayan.

mahal kita at malamang alam mo na ang bagay na 'to. kung sakaling itatanong mo pa rin kung gaano, kinalulungkot kong sabihing hindi ko masasagot yan. mahal kita, magmula nang malaman ko ang iyong pangalan hanggang sa mga oras na ito, kahit matagal na'ng nagdaan, masasabi kong hanggang sa pintuan ng langit pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sayo. pakiusap, huwag ka nang magtanong, mahal lang talaga kita.

nagkamali akong ika'y pinilit kinalimutan. hindi ko inasahang ikaw pala ang nagtutustos sa pang-araw-araw na pangangalangan..aking hiniga, dugo at pawis. ganyan kita kamahal..umabot na sa sukdulan. pagmamahal na hindi maipaliwanag at hindi maipahiwatig, sadyang totoo at hindi na dapat ulit ulitin pa.