12.27.2004

ngayon, bukas at makalawa

ayan na ang umaga't dapat nang bumangon
humuhuning ibon na tila nag-uusap
anu kayang meron at kay aga'y ang satsat
nagtataka, ako ba'y pinaguusapan?

nais magkwento ngunit tenga'y kanino ba?
mga ibong may pinag-uusapang sarili,
ang haring araw na nakasaksi ng lahat
o ang aking sintang walang kamalay-malay

mga ibo'y nagtigil nang ako'y nagsimula
tila ba nakinig sa kwentong may pasakit
buhay na walang buhay na sayo umikot
umaasa't nagnanais sayo'y magtapos

naging magkaibigan ngunit 'di matalik
sapagkat magkaibang mundo tayo'y taglay
hindi nagtitinginan, hindi naguusap
tanging nagbubuklod..ang aking nararamdaman

'di alam kung papaano ipaaalam
namuong pag-ibig, paano magagapi?
'di alam kung paano, 'di alam kung bakit
magulong isipin, mahal kita, tama ba?

masakit isiping walang kahihinatnan
paghangang inaalay ng puso kong ligaw
para sa isang engkantadang 'di maabot
sapat nang magmahal, masilayan ka lamang

'di ko namalayan, lumisan na si Araw
mga ibong huminto, humuni silang muli
o bilis ng oras pag ika'y laman nito
'di man namalayan, tapos na buong araw

ayan na ang b'wan at tuluyan nang nang-iwan
araw na sa isang kisapmata'y nawala
ikaw buwan? alam mo na ba ang kwento ko?
kung narinig mo na'y dapat na kong tumuloy

tawagin mo na kong kaawaawa't dukha
sa pag-ibig at alaga niya'y salat man
busog naman sa alaalang iniwan n'ya
salamat, paalam na, ako'y aalis na

panibagong araw dapat aking harapin
umaasang bukas may bago na kong kwento
malay bukas pagmulat ay katabi ko na
o hanggang sa muli, sino ba tong ganda?

12.05.2004

"hu cud it b?"

here's an old friend
maybe a new lover

never thought--
this feeling would grow

never thought--
your feeling still last

grow more, grow more
until it reaches the core

i could not talk nor speak
my heart still pounds

a magic only few could do
--especially to me

is it love you feel,
or something close to it

is it just friendship,
or something better than it

kahong itim

ganyan ka katanyag,
ilang b'wan lamang kitang nakilala
kinuha ka na
ngayon ko lang natanto,
ika'y tinitingalang totoo.
kapwa gurong lumuluha,
estudyanteng nagluluksa.

ikaw na malupit
--may pagmamahal sa loob

ikaw na umalis
--papaano ang naiwan?

ikaw na ikinahon
--nararapat ba??

salamat, kung nasaan ka man
nasa likod man kita
o sa harap ng Diyos
alam kong makakarating ka rin
sa iyong paroroonan

mabibigat na salitang binitawan
na aming pakakatandaan
mga karangalang nakuha
ikaw ang tanging daan
salamat,
tanyag kang totoo.
.
.
-the death of sir joel nitafan

9.10.2004

the life, life?

no one told me
this was life
hard but with enjoyment
crazy but with happiness
all definitely with fulfillment

i could tell, i'm not just simply excisting
--living maybe

i could tell i never played it well
--not until now

my life started just here
--just now
not before, when i was somebody
but now, here, that i became nobody
a life even though simple
..full of ups and downs
with empowering love..

my life..

8.16.2004

best teacher, friend!

a teacher almost an adviser
taught the things i know i won't know
things an ordinary teacher
wouldn't share to an ordinary student

anything about life
and even love of course,
my decisions,
everything..
you were there for me
in a single call

my teacher, my best friend
the care and support you show
every step on my way up
though far, still worries..

i don't care how i call
best teacher,
true adviser,
best friend in a superlative form,
or favorite someone.
it all fits..

a person i really appreciates
a person i really treasure
a person you meet not usually
a not-so-perfect mentor
but true in her way
that's you..miss!
.
.
-"mis"
-ms. angie

7.28.2004

memory

time may pass
but my love, beb
will always be with you..
my care and my thoughts.
my eyes haven't seen you for such long time
but my heart still beats the memory you bought
each day,
each night,
each sparkling star bright,
new memory passes
memory,
each day that reminds me of you
though i miss you and the way you smile..
you'll still remain here in my memory..
and never would die.
.
.
-beb

5.24.2004

dreams

it's the only thing i know
a place where i can go
freely do what i want
and say what i believe

where i want it to be
what i want to happen
how i want it to be
when i want to happen

dreaming is my escape
when i'm down in reality
you won't see me out
meet me in my dreams

5.16.2004

dreamy mind

drove a car
wearing this life
and passed by a girl
i thought excisted..
but lived in dreams.
soon, that dream flew
and became true!
i proved but forgot a thing,
to let her feel that it is true.
the warmth of tender love

never thought she'd go back
where i found her..dreams
footprints were left
and memories
that only excisted in my mind..
in my heart,
do you feel the pain?
she once felt that too..
it's over, it's done
there's nothing left to do
leave and go
live and create
go on but never forget
run and never stop

2.27.2004

walang pagsisisi

hindi madaling baguhin ang isang pagkakamali, lalu na't kung sa pagbabagong ito'y may mawawala sa atin--malapit na kaibigan, mahal sa buhay, o isang alaala. ngunit ang isang pagkakamali ay nagmula sa isang desisyon, desisyon kung ika'y dadaan sa tama o mali. nakalilito kung iisipin, minsa'y alam mong mali ngunit pinili mong subukan, minsa'y alam mong tama ngunit pinipilit mo pa ring dumaan sa mas masukal na daan dahil sa kung anu mang rasong personal.

ang isang rason ay dapat timbangin at pag-isipang mabuti upang 'di humantong sa maling resulta, upang 'di mapagsisihan at problemahin balang araw. hindi madaling magdesisyon lalu na't kung may masasaktan at mahihirapan, lalu na't kung ika'y mawawalan. ngunit kung ang desisyong ito ang magiging rason kung bakit ka babagsak, huwag mo na lamang subukan! mahirap itama ang mali lalu na't kung 'di matanggap ng marami ang iyong pagbabago. 'di man mahalaga ang iniisip ng marami, karamiha'y sila ang dahilan ng pagkabagsak ng isang tao. sa bawat maling nagawa ay may kapalit--maganda, masaya, magulo, masama.
.
.
-pagtitimbang ng mga rason

1.27.2004

first love

a butterfly with simple colors
with unpredictable paths
and undescribable something

she was one of those butterflies
whom everyone adored
and would want to catch and own someday

but she was never one of them
in a way, for then no one
could even have and own her

i tried once but i failed
twice and thrice until she flew
into my hands and stayed

shouldn't ask for anything else
but how can i possibly end
a wonderful life in my own bare hands

i'm not worthy
she has a long way to go
not me has the right to end
a life so precious and full of beauty
we both needed space

loved you from the start
until the day i set you free
i guess it's just too early

1.17.2004

bi-raise

a problem
that cannot be answered

in my own self
two places
where should i be

a problem
that no one could know

in my own self
--hidden

in my own self
i could not tell where

grew up in this island
where not one acknowledges
ancestors there
where not one cares